Child Genius Development

How to Develop Your Child's Genius: Improving Concentration and Focus
 
By Esther Andrews
Being able to focus is a very beneficial skill. Schoolchildren have to be able to take a test, even if their classmates are not keeping quiet. They have to be able to focus on their homework, even if some other kids are playing outside, or a sibling is listening to the radio.
But beyond these practical reasons, a person's ability to focus and concentrate, affects their level of performance. In order to solve a problem, you have to be able to focus, and if you can't concentrate, you can't find s solution. The ability to concentrate is important to anything we want to accomplish. When a person increases their concentration skills, they see a big improvement in everything they do. There is no doubt, then, that anybody can benefit from the strengthening of their ability to concentrate and focus. Children in general have shorter attention spans than adults. It is impossible to expect a child to sit and concentrate for a long time, because it is natural for children to move around and be active. In my opinion, part of the reason is that children's minds work extremely fast, and they have the need to learn new material constantly. When they feel that they have learned all they can from one activity, they will move to the next one, looking for more knowledge. Often you can observe a very young child playing with a toy. The child will be "all into it", fully focused on the toy. For how long? That varies, depending on many factors. But as long as they are playing, they are fully focused. Watch children when they are listening to a story, they are listening intently, and are all captured by the story. There are some exercises, or games, that you can play with your child, that will increase his ability to concentrate and focus. You can play the games suggested here, or you can invent your own games around these exercises, depending on your individual child, their age and their interest. Here are some suggestions: 1. Have your child close his eyes, and imagine a triangle. Then have him draw the triangle, with his eyes closed, on a piece of paper, slowly, and accurately. Then have him do it again, and watch if there is any improvement in the triangle he has drawn. The slower he does it, the better. It is practically impossible to perform this task, without concentrating and focusing on it, and the slower the task is performed, the longer the intense focus. If you want, you can have a competition, you can do it with your child, and the one who finished later is the winner, or the one who has a better triangle, wins. You can organize a group of kids to compete with each other. (When your child is drawing perfect triangles, you can advance to more complicated figures, a square, a Star of David, a star... whatever figure you can think of.) 2. This is a very interesting game, that will entertain, surprise and benefit all participants. Have your child hold his arm out. With closed eyes, tell your child to start feeling an intense heat on the palm of his hand, as if he is holding a hot potato. Focus on it for a few minutes, when it starts to feel uncomfortable (too hot), have him stop and shake his hand. 3. Have your child practice reading in different environments. Take him to the library, have him read there, take him to a fast food restaurant, and have him read there. If your child doesn't read yet - read a story to him. That also takes concentration! (I don't recommend reading in the car, some people get motion sick when they read in the car.) Any environment that you can think of is a good place to practice concentration. The Russian chess players practice playing in noisy places. They play in the park, coffee houses, wherever they can! 4. When you are visiting the park, or walk on the beach, have your child listen to the sounds of nature and life. The sound of the waves, or the sound of the birds and other animals in the park. Have him practice listening to the sounds intently for the longest time possible, and try to increase from there. If you have a recording of nature sounds, (there are many CD's that have the sound of water and other sounds of nature) your child can do that at home, listening to a CD. You can play the "quiet game", yourself and the child (or a group of children) listening to the sounds of nature CD. The last sitting is the winner. 5. The finger game. Have your child hold his hand out, and bend each finger very slowly, focusing only on that finger. When all fingers are bent, start straightening the fingers one at a time, very slowly. You can play this game with a toddler or a baby, too! 6. The breathing game. Have your child breath in very slowly, counting to ten, paying attention only to his breathing. Then have him exhale as slowly as he can. 7. Have a competition, who can gaze at an object the longest. You can put an object at the center of the room, and have your child and yourself, or a group of children, gaze at the object. The person who can stay with this assignment the longest without taking their eyes off the subject is the winner. If you participate in these games with your child, you will notice an improvement in your ability to concentrate, too! Take some time to do these activities with your child, and observe the results! Please write to me at esther@all-gifted-children.com, to tell me about the results you are observing. Some people can concentrate on an assignment, to the exclusion of all distractions around them. My husband, who is an avid reader, can sit at a public place and read, no matter how much noise exists around him. Some people can play at a chess tournament, and focus on their game, no matter how many people are standing around them, watching the game. Others, however, cannot concentrate on their reading in a coffee house, because "too much is going on around them", and some people's chess game is affected by the noise around them or the people watching the game, and they make mistakes and "blunders".

F1: McLaren Facts & Stats

FACTS AND STATS
  • Began development of MP4-20 in May 2004
  • Also began their first wind tunnel work on MP4-20 in May 2004
  • Have conducted approximately 3,600 hours of wind tunnel work with MP4-20
  • Ran the Mercedes-Benz FO 110R V10 engine on the dyno for about six months before testing of the MP4-20 commenced.
  • Sends between 95 (fly-away races) and 135 (European races) personnel to each Grand Prix.
  • Has a race team which comprises: technical director, race team manager, senior race engineer, chief mechanic, software engineer, race strategist, two driver engineers, two assistant engineers, two system engineers, two data analysts, 10 mechanics, two gearbox mechanics two fabricator/carbon repairmen, engine dress, chief truckie, two tyre men, electrician, two support crew, security, senior fuel technician, fuel technician, spares co-ordinator, team co-ordinator.
  • Has a test team which comprises: test team manager, test team engineer, two driver engineers, two assistant engineers, two system engineers, chief mechanic, 12 mechanics, two gearbox technicians, data analyst, engine dress, two tyre men, spares co-ordinator/chief truckie, three full-time truckies, fabricator/laminator/truckie, part-time truckie.
  • Transports approximately 30 tonnes of freight, including three complete race cars at approximately 600kgs each, to grands prix.
  • Takes three spare gearboxes to each race, two built with rear suspension and one loose unit.
  • Takes six engines to each race, one in each of the three cars and three loose spares.
  • The Team Communications Centre, the team's trackside hospitality unit, travels to all European Grands Prix. It has two floors and comprises offices, meeting rooms, kitchen and dining areas and driver rooms.
  • Completed approximately 58,000 kilometres when testing during the 2004 season.
  • Completed approximately 17,000 kilometres when racing in 2004, including Practice, Qualifying, and Races.
  • Generated 40 gigabytes of data during all race meetings and 75 gigabytes of data at all tests in the 2004 season. This equates to about 35 full CDs' worth of data.
  • Consumed 75,000 litres of Mobil Unleaded fuel for track work during the 2004 season.
  • Competes with a car that typically handles 2,500 gearchanges during a race. This figure varies from circuit to circuit.
  • Competes with a car that is typically capable of the following performance: 0-60mph / 0 - 96kph 2.3 seconds. 0-100mph / 0 - 160kph 3.6 seconds. 0-100-0mph / 0 -160 - 0kph 6.6 seconds. and can decelerate from 185mph to a standstill in 3.5 seconds.
  • Michelin supplied Team McLaren Mercedes’ race cars with 2575 tyres in total for the 18 Grand Prix weekends in 2004. (1360 dry-weather tyres and 944 wet-weather tyres)
  • 4500 drawings are needed to created the 11,000 components that make up each car. This is equivalent to 22 telephone directories.
  • The drivers are subjected to forces of up to 5G under braking.

F1: VODAFONE will be McLAREN MERCEDES Title Sponsor

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VODAFONE WILL BE McLAREN MERCEDES TITLE SPONSOR
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Vodafone and the McLaren Mercedes Formula One team today announce a long-term sponsorship agreement, commencing January 2007 which will last into the next decade. Vodafone will become Title Sponsor of the Team – ‘Vodafone McLaren Mercedes’ and the ‘Official Mobile Partner’.

The sponsorship demonstrates Vodafone’s ongoing commitment to the Formula One World Championship, a sport which continues to deliver massive global television coverage and which has significant appeal for Vodafone’s consumer and business customers around the world.

The title sponsorship includes a number of benefits:

- The team name will be ‘Vodafone McLaren Mercedes’
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- Vodafone will be the ‘Official Mobile Partner’ of the team. - Dominant Title Sponsorship branding on the new 2007 cars, drivers' and pit crews' overalls and helmets and other ancillary elements. - Significant marketing activation opportunities including hospitality, merchandising, and promotional rights including access to drivers and track days. - Behind the scenes access to the Vodafone McLaren Mercedes racing team, enabling Vodafone to bring exclusive content to Vodafone live! with 3G customers, allowing them to ‘live the motor racing experience’ and feel part of the racing team. - Additional content will include Vodafone McLaren Mercedes racing news updates, test results and full team biographies, the McLaren story, exclusive Vodafone McLaren Mercedes team games, videos, ringtones,wallpapers and screensavers. Commenting on the agreement Peter Bamford, Vodafone’s Chief Marketing Officer said, "We are excited about this new phase of involvement in motor racing. As Title Sponsor of the Vodafone McLaren Mercedes team it raises our association with Formula One to the ultimate level. The new agreement delivers a fantastic marketing platform; the associative rights we acquire as a result of this new sponsorship provide us with additional opportunities to continue to raise brand awareness, build brand preference and drive revenue. It will also provide our customers with unique and exciting content through Vodafone live! with 3G.” “This is only the third time for more than 30 years that the opportunity to become the team’s Title Sponsor has existed," said Ron Dennis, Chairman and CEO of the McLaren Group and McLaren Mercedes Team Principal. "The status of the brand and the level of activation in support of the sponsorship were key criteria for our choice of Title Sponsor and Vodafone over-delivers in all respects. In addition, as our agreement is long-term, this provides important stability within the Team, allowing us to focus fully on our objective of winning races and Championships together. We are delighted to welcome Vodafone to the team and look forward to many future successes." "We welcome Vodafone as the new title sponsor to the team," said Norbert Haug, Vice-President, Mercedes-Benz Motorsport. "The fact that a world renowned brand like Vodafone with such an impressive market performance has joined us is of significant importance not only for the team but also for all our world class sponsor partners. I am sure that each one will benefit from the respective activities of the other, which is a first class prospect for everybody involved."
- ENDS -
About Vodafone Vodafone provides a full range of mobile telecommunications services, including voice and data communications. Vodafone has equity interests in 27 countries and Partner Networks in a further 27 countries, with a proportionate customer base of over 171 million. Vodafone live! with 3G is available in 18 countries worldwide. For more information, please visit www.vodafone.com
© Vodafone Group 2005. VODAFONE, the Vodafone logos and Vodafone live! are trade marks of the Vodafone Group. Other product and company names mentioned herein may be the trademarks of their respective owners.

F1: Q&A with Peter Prodromou, Chief Aerodynamicist @ McLaren Racing

As
Team McLaren Mercedes returns to the test track in Jerez today with Pedro de la Rosa and Gary Paffett at the wheel of the interim MP4-20s, Peter Prodromou, Chief Aerodynamicist at McLaren Racing, discusses his department's ongoing development schedule of the MP4-21. What is your technical background and how would you describe your role and responsibilities as Chief Aerodynamicist? I studied Aeronautical Engineering at Imperial College in London for three years, before spending an additional twelve months on a Masters. I then joined McLaren to introduce and begin to develop Computational Fluid Dynamics (CFD) within the company. My role progressed to looking after the wind tunnel testing and in 2000 I became Head of Aerodynamics. As Chief Aerodynamicist at McLaren Racing, I lead a team of aerodynamicists and CFD engineers, whose responsibility and goal is to effectively advance the aerodynamic design of the car to improve aerodynamic performance, using the various tools available to us, which are CAD, CFD, and the wind tunnel. It is also vital to continue developing the tools that are available to us to help us to do that job. What is your specific role within the MP4-21 project? The chief aerodynamicist role, which means that I am responsible for the shape of the car. When did work begin with MP4-21 and what did the initial stage comprise? From the aerodynamic side, work began on MP4-21 around the beginning of April 2005. Of course other work on the car started well before that, such as engines and gearbox. The start of the process focused on defining areas of MP4-21 that we wanted to research, which were potentially going to affect the fundamentals of the car. Areas such as a new front suspension layout, front and rear axle positions and different chassis designs were explored and then specified at around this time. Then there was a period when the research list was worked on, in terms of actually designing the various components that would be required for the wind tunnel or for CFD, and then making those components. When did wind tunnel work begin with MP4-21? We hit the tunnel with MP4-21 at the beginning of July 2005, and since then we have completed thousands of hours of wind tunnel testing. At this time of year, the operational hours for the wind tunnel at the McLaren Technology Centre are extensive, running seven days a week. How is the design process going? It is going reasonably well, we are at the stage where we have defined the initial package and now we are working on finding performance steps to continue to improve it through the winter and into this coming season. How have the regulation changes for 2006 affected the aerodynamic design of MP4-21? For 2006 the regulation changes are not as significant as for 2005. There are some, but not at the level of last year. For the aerodynamics team there were two implications of the regulation changes for 2006. The first is how we could exploit the change to the new Mercedes-Benz V8 engine, which opened up opportunities for the repackaging of the rear of the car. A lot of effort has been put into this area, and it was an early focus to establish what has become available to us at the back end. The second major regulation change was to the forward deflector area, which has been raised by regulation 50mm. Even though technically you can devise a solution relatively easily, for example take what we had last year and raise it, the consequences of doing that were significant and they were complex enough that we had to address that whole area of the car quite comprehensively. Is MP4-21 an evolution or a new car? It is a new car, but in terms of its basic concept it is evolved (with less than 10% carry-over parts) from the MP4-20 fundamentals. What is the current focus of the design programme? I’m afraid I cannot be specific for competitive reasons, but the basic car is now defined and fully spec'ed and the focus has now turned to what we can do between now and the first race, whilst also looking at what we can do for the various upgrade packages during the season. McLaren has always pushed hard to bring continual lap time improvements right up to the last race. The research and development pressure is relentless, because that’s what it takes to win in a modern Formula One team.

F1: McLaren present Orange test livery

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Team McLaren Mercedes is returning to the track this Wednesday, 11th January, at the Circuito de Jerez in Spain, for the first test of 2006. The team will test with a new orange livery, originating from the days of Bruce McLaren. Since sponsor West left the team there seems to be no reason to keep the grey livery any more.

Test drivers Pedro de la Rosa and Gary Paffett will be at the wheel of two interim MP4-20's, which will be running in an orange livery, prior to the launch of the new Team McLaren Mercedes livery in mid-February. The orange is synonymous with the origins of McLaren, as the team ran its Formula One and CAN-AM racers in the colour for a number of years starting with the M5A in 1968.
This week marks the start of 28 intensive on-track test days currently scheduled for the team in Valencia, Barcelona, Imola and Jerez leading up to the opening race of the 2006 World Championship, the Bahrain Grand Prix, on Sunday 12th March. Kimi Raikkonen and Juan Pablo Montoya will be starting their programmes during the week commencing Monday 16th January. Further information about the first run of MP4-21, which will be some time in January and the 2006 livery launch will follow in due course. Full details on the pre-season test schedule and daily reports from the track can be accessed on http://www.mclaren.com/ and http://media.motorsport.daimlerchrysler.com/
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Surat menyurat laki -bini

KELUHAN HATI AYANG
Dear Abang...., ayang nak mintak kebenaran abang untuk bawa anak-anak balik ke kampung. abang tak perlu hantar ayang sebab ayang mampu untuk bawa anak-anak ke kampung musim cuti sekolah ni dengan bas.. abang jagalah diri abang dan kereta abang baik-baik... cuma ada perkara yang ingin ayang luahkan di sini... kereta baru abang tu mahal.. harga mencecah 100k barangkali.. sebab tu abang sayangkan kereta abang lebih dari ayang.. sampaikan abang dah terlena dalam kereta abang tu sejak abang beli 3 bulan yang lalu dah masuk 3 malam... abang sayangkan kereta abang lebih dari ayang, nak tau ngape? harga kereta abang tu lebih mahal dari wang hantaran yang ayah ayang letakan masa kita kahwin dulu.. cuba hantaran ayang lebih mahal dari harga kereta abang? tiap-tiap pagi abang mesti gosok kereta abang, nak nampak berkilat..tapi ayang nak dapat kiss g.morning pun susah sejak beli kereta tu, sebulan sekali macam-macam aksesori abang beli kat kereta, ayang nak dapat hadiah besday setahun sekali pun susah.. kereta sebulan sekali abang servis, abang kata kena jaga maintainance..ayang nak dapat pi salon setahun sekali pun susah.. kereta abang make up lawa-lawa.. tapi kalau ayang make up lawa-lawa abang kata ayang tak sedar diri kereta abang bagi makan minyak mahal-mahal cecah 100 setin pun ada, ayang nak makan pizza sekeping jer masa mengidam anak kedua kita aba ng kata ayang mengada-ngada kereta abang kalau anak-anak sentuh sikit bodynya abang marah anak macam nak makan, ayang jatuh longkang besar boleh abang gelak paling menyedihkan.. ayang tanya ngape tidur dalam kereta? abang jawab takut orang curi kereta abang.. kalau ayang kena curi?? ayang nak balik kampung dulu.. anak-anak nak jumpa atuk dengan nenek depa.. tak nak naik kereta abang takut calar.. ayang calar takpe.. jaga diri elok-elok, sarapan ayang dah sediakan. ayang pi tak lama sekolah bukak ayang balik lah dengan anak-anak.. pesanan ayang.. ABANG SURUHLAH KERETA ABANG TU MASAKKAN MAKAN KESUKAAN ABANG ABANG SURUHLAH KERETA ABANG TU BASUHKAN PAKAIAN ABANG ABANG SURUHLAH KERETA ABANG TU GOSOKAN KEMEJA ABANG ABANG SURUHLAH KERETA ABANG TU SIAPKAN AIR MANDI ABANG ABANG SURUHLAH KERETA ABANG TU KEMASKAN RUMAH ABANG ABANG SURUHLAH KERETA ABANG TU URUT-URUT BADAN ABANG ABANG SURUHLAH KERETA ABANG TU TEMANKAN ABANG TIDUR Love, ayang SURAT BALASAN DARI SUAMI TERCINTA: Dear Ayang, bukanlah abang sayang keta tu lebih dr ayang.. tapi ayang kene faham keta tu keta bos abang nnti kalau ilang sapa nak ganti.. ayang abang suruh keja ayang xnak, ayang kata nak dok umah jaga anak,nak siap kan sarapan nak kemas umah tapi ayang tiap2 hari bgn tido kul 12..macam mana nak wat keja umah..cuba lah ayang pk mana x abang tido dalam keta.. abang balik keja lambat skit ayang dah kunci pintu..bukan nye abang gi foya2 kan abang gi keja... lagi satu pasal piza yang ayang ngidam tu.. ayang nak piza yg di oder dari jepun.. mana lah abang ada duit nak oder.. abang nak bg apam balik yg jual kat depan ofis abang ni ayang xnak, ayang nak jugak piza dr jepun.. nasib baik abang x belikan kalau x anak kedua kita tu mesti muka cam doremon.. ish xnak laa abang.. pasal hadiah ka abang dah belikan tapi abang sembunyi kan kat dapur.. ayang yang tersalah buang ingatkan sampah.. tu lah abang suruh kemas umah tu ayang kata umah kita dah bersih tapi hadiah dgn sampah pun dah jadi serupa jek..hadiah tu mahal tau abang beli untuk ayang.. sebenarnye abang sayang ayang lebih dr keta tu wlau pun hantaran masa kita kawin cuma rm80k..ayang x tau bpe kali abang turun naik bank nak wat loan rm80k..tapi demi ayang abang wat jugak.. sbb masa tu ayang kalau mekup mmg sebijik maya karin.. tapi sejak ayang wat rebonding 3 tahun lepas setiap kali ayang mekup abang terbayang lak muka pontianak dlm citer phsm.. bukan ayang x cantik tapi kening ayang tu gi cukur wat per.. wlau pun abang selalu cukur janggut abang tapi ayang xyah laa nak cukur kening ayang tu... pasal morning kis tu, ayang bgn pun dah tghri nak morning kis cam mana.. dah laa ayang.. abang malas nak citer.. tapi abang nak bg tau jgk kat sini ayang tetap no 1 dlm hati abang.. nanti kalau naik bas tu bebaik.. ayang nak balik kpg abang izinkan cuma jgn lupa kim salam kat mak ayah kat sana.. kalau ada gulai tempoyak ke nnti jgn lupa bwk balik skit.. kalau ada lembu terlepas ke ayang xyah laa susah2 gi kejar lembu tu... biar jek.. nnti abang balik kpg abang kejar kan..bukan apa takut lembu tu tanduk ayang nnti bukan stakat calar jek silap2 leh masuk hspital.. abang kene tanduk xpe.. jaga anak2 baik2 jgn bagi diorang main kat sungai musim2 banjir ni.. nak dpt anak bukan senang takut nnti ayang ngidam lagi piza jepun lak lagi haru.. baik jaga jek yg dah ada tu.. ayang pun jaga diri baik2.. jgn sampai jatuh longkang lagi..hehe.. abang mmg xnak ketawa masa tu tapi nak wat cam mana ayang jatuh kepala dulu yang masuk longkang..dah laa rambut ayang masa tu baru lepas rebonding.. mmg abang kesian tapi muka ayang lepas jatuh longkang tu xleh abang nak bayang kan cam mana....tgk laa sendiri gambar tu.... ok lah ayang.. nnti lepas cuti skolah kita jumpa lagi eah.. bye ayang love, abang

Antara dialog glamour "filim" Tan Sri P.Ramlee

Nyonya Mansur : apa? doktor kau tu dah gila agaknya!
Director Ahmad Nisfu: Kenapa kepala kau berbungkus syaitan? Pak MusTar:Annie angkat Jemuran HuJan Dah Turun Sudin : tiga ratus lima puluh ringgit...tiga ratus lima puluh ringgit...tiga ratus lima puluh ringgit....tiga puluh lima encik...lima ringgit encik....u my fren... Sarip Dol: "Ah... jaga-jaga cik Salmah... jaga-jaga... ah... jaga-jaga tauuu... ah jatuh!... kan jatuhhh!!!" "cowboy mana minum susu..." Sudin: Setan baru balik operation, Tuan sudin: besar tu tak berapa besar lah jis, adalah dalam 7 kaki... aziz:itu tempat kau nak mampos bodoh... org betul2 dia main2 pulak, sekali aku cekik Ramli:Tuan Rumah Oh Tuan Rumah.... Cik Normah:Kan Dah Berapa Kali Saya Suruh jgn panggil Tuan Rumah Ramlee: Wah! Betul punya marah dia tu eh... Aziz:...eh...dayang sofia...dah makan.... sudin: oi ramli, kau nak kerja ke jual minyak... aziz:minyak apa...? sudin: minyak urat... Aziz: Walaupun rupamu tidak ku kenal tetapi lubang hidungmu tetap menjadi pujaan hatiku! "cobaan....!" Pendekar Mustar: Cobaan kepala hotak kau! :lol: heeee :cry: :cry: ... budak2 ini kata cobaann... P.Ramlee: Aku mati dlm iman... aziz: hai ramlee...akulah raja ramlee: raja apa??? aziz: raja kapur sudin: raja kapur kepala otak kau.... ahmad nisfu: kecik2 tak nak mampus.....da besar menyusahkan orng Ramlee: kalau hantu, dia cakap help, help...yang ni, tolong, tolong Aziz: Success! Success!! Cukup puas hati! Puas hati! *garam pon jatuh ke dalam lauk* Ramli:Cik Salmah mlm ini boleh jumpa pat Bawah Pokok Salma: Siapa perempuan tu?! Ramlee: Nenek saya! aziz: jolok motor ye bang... aziz: sedara ni berbini je pandai tapi undang² bodoh! SuDin:Abg SuDin,Kakak Tunggu Tempat Biasa Kul 5 Sudin: berapa banyak bomba...eh apa dah bomba?? Hj Bakhil: Sekali aku lesing Ramlee: "... sarjen!! siapkan orang kita, kita pegi rompak rumah Kassim Baba!''.. Bin Sarjen: "sori chip!! hari ini hari sabtu, setengah hari, esok hari minggu, holiday.. kalau chip nak rompak, hari senin boleh laaa ..." p.ramlee : Pah, butang baju aku mana, Pah? (P.Ramlee) : "Dah tua pun bodoh" Apek: Hidup susah...mati pun susah... Hidup jalang sinang sinang...mati kena pegang bendela... Abdul Wahob: Bapak marah? Bapak: Tak..... Seronok!!!! (P.Ramlee) "Siapa marah!!....Nasihat!!...Bu....tang baju aku mana Pa..." Jamil:Pak semalam Saya Nikah Lagi Satu Pak Abu(Bapak MerTua):Ini dah masuk 3 kenapa tak cukupkan 4 Bini PMT (pak mat tempeh) : Pak Mat kau tu memang gitu... Abdul Wahub : Aikkkk....Ayahanda marahhh?? Ayahanda: Tidak... seronoookkkk ..hmmmm.... bujang lapok (sudin) : hai mambang tanah.. mambang api.. manbang angin... hai mambang kau pun nak main pintu... abang apek:"muka ala siiinyuuum.........................." Sarimah: "Abang Jamil tak boleh ceraikan kita tau tapi abang Jamil kena hukum!..." hukumannya malam ni Abang Jamil kena tido rumah Kak Latifah, kemudian rumah Cik Hasnah lepas tu rumah Ani, begitulah bergilir gilir sampai abang Jamil MAMPUS!!" Jamil :Hamba setuju!!! A. NISFU Saudara Majid... mana dia setan-setan tu... MAJID Sudah datang tuan... A. NISFU Aikk.. ini cat ka kapur ? AJIS Bedak tuan.... A. NISFU Yang ini macam Russian terlepas... RAMLEE Baru turun dari bulan tuan.... A. NISFU Hmm.. Eh !! itu misai ka tanglung... RAMLEE Yang ni tuan ? Misai pun boleh tanglung pun boleh... tuan... "Oi, aper yg kau tiup. Tu Ball Pen ....." "Maafkan kami penunggu gua, Maafkan kami penunggu gua, Maafkan kami penunggu gua..." Gangster : ".. wah nie pisang yer ?" Makcik : " Pisang lah !" Gangster : "Mintak satu ....!!" Makcik : "Oi ! Kalau nak mintak lah, kita boleh kasi lah.." Gangster : "Oohhh.. mintak yer ? Mintak lagi satu ler !!!" Makcik : "Woitt!!" Pak MusTar--Yang Ini Biola Aziz-Ini BuKan Biola... Bonggo ramly : ini apa baca nya ..tolong bacakan sudin. sudin : alif tendang wau SARKIS daa!! ramly & ajis : apa pulak sarkis?.. sekolah daa!! sudin : sekolah kepala hotak kau.. sekolah untok budak2 kecik ini dah tua bangka berkerepot. Labu: Asal aku mimpi je ko datang, asal aku mimpi je ko datang... ko niii memang tak boleh tengok aku senanglah labi! Isterinya: Re bawak api kemari Re: Belum sampai, nyonya kemari dari india Isterinya: org ckp bawak api kemari dia kata nyonya kemari pulak Isterinya: Aku mintak apilah bodoh Re: Hai api ku sangka kau api pandai rupa2nya kau api bodoh Isterinya: Heyyyyyyy aku mintak mancis Re: Man ker Mat Isterinya: Mancis Mancis Bodoh... Mi: aarrrgghhhh... Re: Terperanjat aku. Kenapa kau menjerit? Mi: Aku nampak nasi... Re: Ai, nampak nasi pun menjerit.... lain lah kau nampak beruang ke, boleh lah menjerit... mana nasi nya? Mi: Tu... Re: Ini bukan nasi... ini nenek kau... Sudin : Sekarang pakcik dengar ye pakcik... Hai mambang tanah,mambang laut,mambang api...Mambang mabok mimum todi... Pak Mustar: Apa kau ingat negeri mambang ada jual todi?? Eh! nie apa nie gambar orang-orang nie? Sudin : Tu bukan orang pakcik, tu mambang... Pak Mustar : Mambang kepala otak kau berjambul.... Tersebutlah kisahhhh… kisah terjadiiii negeri melakaaa.. boleh tahan cerita ini.. seorang pahlawan pembela bangsa.. heheee.. makin trilling ceriterr ini.. heee.. pahlawan bergelar laksamana hang tuah.. (hahahahaa pakcik M. June gi malam muda mudi) Aku dah naik jelak dgn pesta muda mudi ni balik2 epok2 karipap,onde2 yg tu nak menari yg ni nak menari , aku tak dpt menari.... (M. June beli tiket) Cikgu Shaari : (Dlm loghat kedah) Hai orang sebelah! awat kayu hang tu terjolok kat umah aku ni, hah??