A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin."
The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age."
The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with one guy."
"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"
"Tiger Woods."
"Tiger Woods, the golfer?"
"Yeah."
"Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him."
The husband and wife then make passionate love.
When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.
"What are you doing?" asks the wife.
The husband says, "I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat."
"Tiger wouldn't do that."
"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"
"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."
The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time.
When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone.
"Now what are you doing?" She asks.
The husband says, "I'm still hungry so I was going to get room service to get something to eat."
"Tiger wouldn't do that."
"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"
"He'd come back to bed and do it again."
The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more time.
When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.
The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"
"No! I'm calling Tiger Woods, to find out what's PAR for this damn hole!"
We've all been interviewed for jobs. And, we've all spent most of those interviews thinking about what not to do. Don't bite your nails. Don't fidget. Don't interrupt. Don't belch. If we did any of the don'ts, we knew we'd disqualify ourselves instantly. But some job applicants go light years beyond this. We surveyed top personnel executives of 100 major American corporations and asked for stories of unusual behavior by job applicants.
The lowlights:
"... stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application."
"She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at the same time."
" A balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to office a few minutes later, wearing a hairpiece."
"... asked to see interviewer's resume to see if the personnel executive was qualified to judge the candidate."
"... announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and French fries in the interviewer's office - wiping the ketchup on her sleeve"
"Stated that, if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm."
"Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering specific interview questions."
"When I asked him about his hobbies, he stood up and started tap dancing around my office."
"At the end of the interview, while I stood there dumbstruck, he went through my purse, took out a brush, brushed his hair, and left."
"... pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash picture of me. Said he collected photos of everyone who interviewed him."
"Said he wasn't interested because the position paid too much."
"While I was on a long-distance phone call, the applicant took out a copy of Penthouse, and looked through the photos only, stopping longest at the centerfold."
"During the interview, an alarm clock went off from the candidate's brief case. He took it out, shut it off, apologized and said he had to leave for another interview."
"A telephone call came in for the job applicant. It was from his wife. His side of the conversation went like this: "Which company? When do I start? What's the salary?" I said, "I assume you're not interested in conducting the interview any further." He promptly responded, "I am as long as you'll pay me more. "I didn't hire him, but later found out there was no other job offer. It was a scam to get a higher offer."
"His attache [case] opened when he picked it up and the contents spilled, revealing ladies' undergarments and assorted makeup and perfume."
"Candidate said he really didn't want to get a job, but the unemployment office needed proof that he was looking for one."
"... asked who the lovely babe was, pointing to the picture on my desk. When I said it was my wife, he asked if she was home now and wanted my phone number. I called security,"
"Pointing to a black case he carried into my office, he said that if he was not hired, the bomb would go off. Disbelieving, I began to state why he would never be hired and that I was going to call the police. He then reached down to the case, flipped a switch and ran. No one was injured, but I did need to get a new desk."
You were born with potential.
You were born with goodness and trust.
You were born with greatness.
You were born with wings.
You are not meant for crawling, so don't
You have wings.
Learn to use them and fly.
Rumi
Pada suatu hari yg tenang..seorg suami sedang relaxs sambil duduk membaca surat khabar.....tiba-tiba datang si isteri membawa tudung periuk....PANG!!....diketuknya atas kepala si suami.....si suami yang terpinga-pinga.....bertanya.....
"Aper hal ngan awak nih....kenapa awak ketuk kepala saya??....si isteri pun menjawap...."nah! awak tengok nih....sambil menunjukkan secebis kertas yang tertulis nama....'Mary'....si isteri tentula menyangka si suami mempunyai kekasih lain yg bernama Mary....dgn tenang si suami menjawab.... ooo....itu nama kuda yg saya bertaruh semalam.....namanya Mary.....si isteri pun agak puas hati ngan penjelasan suaminya..terus menyambung kerja di dapur.....
Selang seminggu berlaku ketika si suami sedang rehat2 membaca surat khabar seperti selalu.... PANG!!!....kali ini dengan lebih kuat lagi!.... si suami pun bertanya....aper hal plak awak ketuk kepala saya kali nih???...dengan selamba..si isteri menjawap...."kuda awak telefon!!".....
P/s: Lain kali nak tipu bini tu cariklah alasan yang lebih selamat
:)
Suatu ketika dulu, di sebuah negeri (kalau tak silap negeri asal usul Mr Semak Samun), ada sebuah company tu mengalami masalah kewangan yang agak meruncing. Company tu berniaga berus gigi dan ubat gigi. So, CEO nya pun meminta pandangan dari staff bawahannya (keseluruhan staff tak kira apa jua pangkat mereka) tentang bagaimana nak meningkatkan jualan serta keuntungan syarikat.
Seperti biasa, kebanyakan staff memberi pandangan yang memang biasa kita dengar (expected) seperti:
- cut cost - production cost ke, staffing ke, dsb
- pertingkatkan promosi
- improve R & D supaya products mereka unique and the list goes on and on....
So, pada suatu hari tu, drebar kepada CEO ni pun berikanlah sekeping kertas kecil kepada bossnya tu sambil berkata : "Ini cadangan saya. Kalaulah boleh diterima pakai". CEO tu pun ambillah kertas tersebut dan simpankannya di poket (maybe dia nak baca kemudian sebab mungkin dianya terfikir, setakat drebar, apalah sangat idea yang dia boleh bagi).
Tunggu punye tunggu, takde pun ideas yang bernas. Most of them adalah ideas yg biasa2 aje. Tiba2 CEO ni pun teringatkan tentang kertas cadangan yang diberikan oleh drebar tadi. Dibukanya serta dibaca. Tiba2 dia tersenyum kerana dia sebagai CEO pun tak pernah terfikir untuk memberi idea sebegitu. Pada pendapat pembaca, apakah cadangan yang dituliskan oleh drebar tersebut? Fikir-fikirkan.....
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Drebar tu tulis:
- Lebarkan dan luaskan/besarkan berus di berus gigi tersebut kerana kebanyakan orang suka meletakkan ubat gigi di keseluruhan berus gigi -makin besar dan lebar berus gigi, maka makin banyaklah ubat gigi yang diperlukan untuk melitupi berus tersebut dengan ubat gigi dan makin selalu2lah orang kena beli ubat gigi yang akhirnya meningkatkan jualan dan productiviti.
- Keduanya, besarkan lubang tiub ubat gigi tu, so that bila tiub dipicit, maka banyaklah ubat gigi yg keluar. Sampai ada yang tertumpah ke lantai. Orang takkan ambil/kutip balik ubat gigi yg terjatuh kat lantai. Kalau dah tertumpah kat lantai, mesti dia akan picit ubat gigi yang baru. Maka selalu2lah jugak pengguna perlu membeli ubat gigi tersebut dan sure sales dan productivity akan meningkat.
Akhirnya, ideas si drebar ini telah diterima pakai dan dia juga telah diberi saham syarikat sebanyak 20% daripada jumlah keseluruhan saham syarikat tersebut. Dan profit syarikat tersebut juga meningkat secara mendadak (berjuta2 USD). Dan dia juga dah tak jadi drebar dah. Dah jadi one of the directors.
[Menurut kata facilitator yang bercerita, cerita ni merupakan cerita benar. Ianya diceritakan semasa kursus motivasi bagi bab Breakthrough Thinking]
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Bercakap tentang breakthrough thinking ni, ianya dimaksudkan juga sebagai pemikiran yang luar dari biasa, melihat sesuatu dari sudut luar dari kebiasaan yang biasa (ingat lagikan kisah Salmah si ikan tu? - so, bila kita nak meneka tu, kita keluar dari kebiasaan yg biasa iaitu tak semestinya Salmah tu seorang manusia...tu contohlah).
Dan inventions serta ciptaan2 yang kita gunakan sehari2 ini datangnya dari pencipta2 yang mempunyai fikiran2 Breakthrough Thinking ni. Kalau tidak, tiadalah ciptaan2 baru since tanpa breakthrough thinking ini, mereka (pencipta2) itu akan mencipta benda2 yang telah ada (maybe cuma diimprovekan saja).
Dan tak semestinya kita ni berotak geliga ataupun terdiri dari kalangan yang so-called "berjaya" sahaja baru nak ada this kind of thinking. Walau siapa jua anda, serta apa jua jawatan yang sedang anda jawat, anda berpotensi untuk mempunyai Breakthrough Thinking ini asalkan anda mampu melihat sesuatu dari perspective yang luar dari biasa!!!
Dan lagi satu moral of the story - never look down on others - jangan pandang rendah/remeh pada orang lain. Mungkin janitor ke, tea lady ke, ataupun cleaner kat office kita tu boleh beri ideas seperti drebar kat atas tu - who knows?