HyperAktif

Joyah mempunyai 3 orang anak yang hiper aktif. Suatu pagi dia bermain "Polis dan Penjahat" bersama anak2 nya...Seorang anaknya menembak Joyah dan berteriak, "Bang! Mama mati." Sally terhempas ke tanah dan dia tidak segera bangun. Seorang jirannya yang kebetulan melihat kejadian itu segera berlari mendekati Joyah untuk melihat apakah dia mengalami kecederaan ketika jatuh tadi. Ketika jirannya membongkokkan badannya, Joyah yang keletihan ini membuka salah satu matanya dan berkata, "Shhh. Saya tidak apa-apa... tidak usah pedulikan saya. Ini satu-satunya kesempatan saya untuk beristirahat sejenak sepanjang hari ini."

Nyanyuk

Pada suatu malam seorang profesor yang pelupa dan nyanyuk pulang lambat. Ketika hendak membuka pintu, dia sedar bahawa dia tidak membawa kunci rumah. Akhirnya dia mengetuk-ngetuk pintu rumahnya hingga isterinya terbangun dan membukakan pintu. Kerana kegelapan, si isteri tidak dapat mengenali si profesor itu adalah suaminya. Lalu si isteri berkata, "Maaf Encik, ... Profesor belum balik... dia tidak ada di rumah." Profesor pelupa itu menjawab, "oo.. takpe lah, kalau begitu saya akan datang semula esok. Terima kasih puan!"

Where else but Roswell? Alien theme park

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By TIM KORTE, Associated Press Writer Businesses here have been cashing in on the UFO craze for years — paintings and replicas of UFOs and space aliens adorn downtown buildings, and even the McDonald's and Wal-Mart are UFO- and space-themed.
Now city officials want to take it to another level with a UFO-themed amusement park, complete with an indoor roller coaster that would take passengers on a simulated alien abduction. "Nobody will be harmed and everybody will be returned, hopefully, in the same shape," concept designer Bryan Temmer said Friday. The park, dubbed Alien Apex Resort, could open as early as 2010. The city has received a $245,000 legislative appropriation for initial planning, but the park would be privately built and managed. Requests for proposals will be advertised next month. The proposed park initially will cover 60 to 80 acres with room to expand to 150 acres. It will feature other rides and attractions, including an exhibit hall with information on scientific exploration of the universe. "It's not just about the Roswell Incident and did it happen," said Temmer, of Land O' Lakes, Fla. The Roswell Incident, of course, has brought the southeastern New Mexico city worldwide acclaim. It centers on a purported UFO crash on a nearby ranch in July 1947, which the military later claimed was a top-secret weather balloon. Temmer, who describes himself as a fan of theme parks and science fiction, pitched the concept to city leaders two years ago. "I knew there was only one place on the planet, probably in the universe, where this idea would work," he said. City Planner Zach Montgomery said the project will cost "several hundred millions of dollars," but a more accurate figure hasn't been determined. A roller coaster similar to the one Temmer proposed is under construction at another theme park for almost $100 million, Montgomery said. Montgomery said the city is considering six potential sites but declined to identify them, other than to say each is within city limits or could be annexed. He also wouldn't name potential operators, but said at least four major corporations approached about the idea are excited. Some business owners believe the theme park is necessary to keep tourists returning. Sharon Welz is a co-owner of the Roswell Space Center, a T-shirt and souvenir shop just off Main Street. She said visitors often complain they'd like to see and do more during trips to the town of about 50,000 people. "We would welcome something like an alien roller coaster or a theme park, absolutely," she said. "How can it hurt us?" Montgomery agrees, saying the top complaint by tourists during the city's annual UFO festival each summer is that there's not enough to do. The town's biggest tourism attraction is the International UFO Museum and Research Center, which has drawn 2.5 million visitors since opening in 1992. Beyond that, it's largely boutiques like the one run by Welz. "We're still in the infancy of our UFO-related economic development," Montgomery said. "Eventually, when people come to Roswell they're not going to have enough time to do everything they want to do. That's our goal."

Kalaulah Mayat Boleh Berkata-kata

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Semoga kita insaf dan menjadi ia satu pengajaran. InsyaAllah... Hari berganti hari. Keadaanku semakin tenat. Tubuhku terkaku seperti mayat di atas katil di salah sebuah hospital yang aku sendiri tidak tahu mengapa aku ditempatkan di sini. Sebelum tu, yang aku ingat aku sedang memandu kereta ayah, lalu bertembung dengan lori balak.Tapi selepas itu aku tidak ingat apa-apa. Pandanganku kabur. Tidak dapat kupastikan siapa orang-orang yang berada di sekelilingku. Aku terasa dadaku teramat berat dan bahagian pinggangku sudah tidak berasa apa-apa lagi. Derita sungguh. Nafasku sesak. Tiba-tiba tanganku dipegang kuat. "Mengucap sayang.... mengucap........ Asyhaduallailahaillallah........." Ucapan itu dibisikkan ke telingaku disertai dengan tangisan. Itu suara ibu. Manusia yang pernah mendodoikan daku semasa kecil, manusia yang pernah menyuapkan nasi ke dalam mulutku, manusia yang pernah memberi susunya serta yang pernah merotanku kerana degil. "Bagaimana dengan keadaannya doktor?" Aku amati suara itu. Pasti itu suara abang. Mungkin abang baru sampai. "Tenat", jawab doktor dengan ringkas. "Itu kata doktor bang, jangan berserah kepada takdir sahaja. Kita perlu usaha." Sudah seminggu aku terlantar di wad ini, kenapa baru sekarang abang menjengah? Datanglah ke sini, aku ingin berbicara denganmu. datanglah..... Tapi mataku.......semakin gelap. Adakah aku sudah buta? Tidak!!!! Aku tidak mahu buta. Aku masih ingin melihat dunia ini. "Sabarlah dik, banyak-banyak ingatkan Allah." Abangkah yang bersuara itu? Apa yang aku tanggung ini tidak semudah yang kau lafazkan,abang. Tolonglah adikmu ini. Tolong bukakan mataku. "Tekanan darahnya amat rendah". sayup sayap kedengaran suara doktor.! Kedengaran juga ibu menangis teresak-esak. Ibu,kau hanya mampu menangis saja dan bila tiba saatnya, kita akan berpisah. Tapi,ibu.....aku tidak mahu berpisah denganmu. Tolonglah ibu,selamatkanlah daku. "Yassin......".bacaan yassin terngiang-ngiang di telingaku. Aku tahu itu suara abang. Tetapi kenapa aku diperdengarkan dengan suara itu??? Apakah aku sudah menghampiri maut??????? Aku takut!!!!!!! Sedetik lagi sakaratul maut datang. Sedetik lagi izrail datang. Sedetik lagi malaikat maut datang. Aku di ambang sakaratul maut...... Aku semakin tegang dan semakin sendat nafas di dada.Ketika itu,aku tidak ingat apa-apa lagi. Aku tidak kenal sesiapa di sekelilingku.Tapi yang pastinya sekarang, aku berdepan dengan sakaratul maut. "Tolong ibu,tolonglah aku, aku takut". Tapi rintihan ku tidak dipedulikan. Apa mereka semua sudah pekak? Aku dilambung resah, gelisah dan penuh kesah.! Keluhan dan rintihan "Panas, dahaga,haus, panas........".tapi tiada siapa pun yang peduli. Nenekku datang, "Nenek...........". "Kau dahaga cu,kau lapar cu,mahu air??Ini gelas penuh air madu,kalau cucu mahu masuk syurga,minum air ini". "Ibu......". Ibuku datang, Ibu menggoyangkan buah susunya." Ini ibumu. Air susu ini membesarkanmu, nak. Buangkan islam, matilah dalam agama yahudi." "Ayah.......kau datang ayah......." "Matilah dalam agama yahudi anakku. Matilah dalam agama nasrani. Itulah agama yang membantu kau masuk ke syurga". "Mengucap sayang,mengucap. Asyhaduallailahaillallah......". Ucapan itu diajukan sekali lagi ke telingaku. Itu suara ibu. Tapi lidahku sudah menjadi kelu. Manusia-manusia berjubah hitam datang. "Mari ikut kami". manusia-manusia berjubah hijau datang membawa bersamanya payung hijau, katanya "Mari ikut kami". Cahaya putih datang. Datang kilatan hitam. Datang sinaran kuning. Cahaya merah datang. "Apa ini, apa ini? Akulah sakaratul maut.......!!!!!!". Kedinginan menjalar, merayap perlahan-lahan dari hujung kaki ke hujung rambut dan kini seluruh jasadku diselimuti sejuk dan kemudian datanglah malaikat maut di hujung kepalaku. "Hai jiwa yang keji, keluarlah dari kemurkaan Allah......." Aku tersentak. Roh kuberselerak di dalam tubuhku.Lalu, nnalillahi wainnailaihi rajiuun.... Malaikat-malaikat yang menunggu sesayup mata memandang dan menghemburlah bangkai yang sebusuk-busuknya. Tiba-tiba bau busuk menusuk ke hidungku, seperti bau sampah yang amat busuk. "Apa yang busuk ni? Tak adakah orang yang mengangkat sampah hari ini? Ah, busuknya, hanyirnya, hancingnya......". "Assalamualaikum......" "Siapa yang memberi salam itu?" "Aku" "Kau siapa wahai pemuda???" Seorang lelaki tercegat di hadapan katilku. Aku tidak pernah melihat orang yang sehodoh, sekotor dan sebusuknya di dunia ini. Rambutnya yang tidak terurus, baju yang dipakai berlumut hijau, kuning, coklat dan entah apa-apa warna lagi, dari lubang hidung, telinganya dan mulutnya terdapat nanah dan darah pekat keluar. Tanpa dipedulikannya...... jijik, loya, aku rasa........teramat loya melihatnya. "Kau tak kenal aku?" "Tidak," jawabku tegas. Mana mungkin aku kenal kau sehodoh dan sejijik ini. "Aku sahabatmu, kau yang membuat aku hari-hari." "Bohong!" Aku menjerit sekuat hati. Biar semua penghuni wad ini mendengarnya. "Aku tak kenal engkau! Lebih baik kau pergi dari sini." "Akulah amalanmu yang keji.........." Aku terdiam. Aku tidak mampu berkata apa-apa lagi. Ya! aku teringat kini, semuanya telah pernah ku dengar dan ku pelajari dulu. Segala dosa dan keburukan yang kita lakukan di dunia,akan dijelmakan dalam sebagai suatu makhluk yang teramat hodoh di hadapan kita di alam barzakh nanti. Oh..Tuhan,aku banyak dosa. Aku memang lalai, cuai dan lupa dengan segala nikmat yang telah kau kurniakan. Solatku kerana kawan, dan bukannya ikhlas kerana Allah. Pergaulanku bebas, tak kenal muhrim ataupun tidak. Tapi itu semua telah berlalu dan dan sudah terlambat untuk bertaubat. Apa yang aku harus lakukan!!!!! Surah yassin yang abang pegang diletakkan di atas dahiku. Aku melihat kak long dan kak ngah menangis. Aku juga lihat mata abah bengkak.Tiba-tiba badanku di sirami air. Air apa ini????? "Tolong....sejuk!!!!Kenapa air ini berbau air kapur barus. "Tolong jangan tekan perutku dengan kuat, sakit!!!!" Kenapa ramai orang melihat aku??? "Aku malu.....malu.....malu......!!!!!!". Aku diusung ke suatu ruang. Aku lihat kain putih dibentangkan. Lalu diletakkannya aku di atas kain putih itu. Kapas dibubuh di celah-celah badanku. Lalu aku dibungkus satu demi satu dengan kain itu. "Nanti, tunggu!! Jangan bungkus aku. Kenapa kalian semua buat aku macam ini? Tolong... rimas.... panas........" Kemudian aku diletakkan di suatu sudut. Beberapa orang termasuk tok imam menyembahyangkanku. Kelihatan ayah dan abang berada di saf yang pertama. Tapi kenapa aku disembahyangkan? Bukankah aku boleh sembahyang sendiri? Aku teringat kata-kata ustazku dahulu. "Sembahyanglah kamu sebelum kamu disembahyangkan". Dan kini baru aku sedar aku sudah tidak mampu lagi untuk mengangkat takbir, ruku', sujud dan tahiyyat. Aku diangkat perlahan-lahan kemudian diletakkan di dalam kotak kayu. "Kotak apa ini?" Aku diusung oleh enam orang termasuk ayah dan abang. Aku diusung setapak demi setapak. "Al-Fatihah!" Kedengaran suara tok imam. Kelihatan ibu, kak long, kak ngah dan lain-lain mengekori di belakang tapi ke mana dibawanya aku?.. Nun jauh di sana, kelihatan tanah perkuburan kampungku. "Ke situkah aku dibawanya? Tolong turunkan aku,aku takut!!!!!!". Setibanya di tanah perkuburan, kelihatan satu liang yang bersaiz dengan jasadku. Beberapa tangan memegangku dan aku diturunkan ke dalam liang itu. "Perlahan-lahan", aku terdengar suara tok imam memberitahu. "Tolong keluarkan aku dari sini! Aku seram!!!" Kini aku berada di dalam liang sedalam enam kaki. Sedikit demi sedikit pasir dan tanah menutupiku. "Tanah apa ini?" "Aduh sakitnya badanku ditimbusi tanah". "Innalillahiwa innailaihi rajiuuun.......Dari Allah kita datang dan kepada Allah jualah kita kembali". Kedengaran bacaan talkin dari tok imam. "Sesungguhnya mati itu benar alam barzakh itu benar, siratul mustaqim itu benar, syurga dan neraka itu juga benar........". Sayup sayap aku terdengar tok imam terus membaca talkin, tetapi makin lama makin hilang. Pandanganku makin lama makin kabur dan terus tidak kelihatan. Tubuhku terasa telah ditimbusi sedikit demi sedikit pasir dan tanah yang dilemparkan ke atas ku. Terasa semakin gelap dan ......aku kini keseorangan....... :(

Cicadas a tasty treat for zoo animals

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At the Brookfield Zoo, cicadas are a lot more than just really noisy insects: They're delicious treats.
These days, a host of animals from bearded dragon lizards to African wild dogs to white-crested laughing thrush birds are enjoying cicadas. And zoo nutritionists — not to mention the mothers of all those lizards, dogs and birds — don't have to worry. Although the cicadas emerging this month after spending 17 years underground may seem like candy to the animals — crunchy on the outside and soft in the center — they're actually health food. "They're extremely nutritious and won't impact their (animals') diets because they don't have a lot of fat in them," Tim Sullivan, the zoo's behavioral husbandry manager, said Friday. The cicadas are such a welcome addition to the diets of the animals that the zoo is not only letting those that live outside catch and eat them on their own, it is bringing cicadas to the animals that live inside so they can enjoy them, too. "We've substituted cicadas for crickets and meal worms that some of the other animals get," Sullivan said. He said that since the cicadas started coming out of the ground in big numbers the last few days, animals all over the zoo have been seen eating them, often as soon as the insects emerge. The only losers are the cicadas themselves. But Sullivan suggested that if they have to go — and they are going to die in about 30 days even if they do avoid being eaten — a zoo is as good a place as any. "Getting eaten by exotic animals is a better way to go than being eaten by a squirrel or a crow," he said.

Boy, 11, bags hog bigger than 'Hogzilla'

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Hogzilla is being made into a horror movie. But the sequel may be even bigger: Meet Monster Pig. An 11-year-old boy used a pistol to kill a wild hog his father says weighed a staggering 1,051 pounds and measured 9 feet 4, from the tip of its snout to the base of its tail. Think hams as big as car tires.If the claims are accurate, Jamison Stone's trophy boar would be bigger than Hogzilla, the famed wild hog that grew to seemingly mythical proportions after being killed in south Georgia in 2004. Hogzilla originally was thought to weigh 1,000 pounds and measure 12 feet long. National Geographic experts who unearthed its remains believe the animal actually weighed about 800 pounds and was 8 feet long. Regardless of the comparison, Jamison is reveling in the attention over his pig. "It feels really good," Jamison said in a telephone interview with The Associated Press. "It's a good accomplishment. I probably won't ever kill anything else that big." Jamison, who killed his first deer at age 5, was hunting with father Mike Stone and two guides in east Alabama on May 3 when he bagged Monster Pig. He said he shot the huge animal eight times with a .50-caliber revolver and chased it for three hours through hilly woods before finishing it off with a point-blank shot. Through it all, there was the fear that the animal would turn and charge them, as wild boars have a reputation for doing. "I was a little bit scared, a little bit excited," said Jamison, who lives in Pickensville on the Mississippi border. He just finished the sixth grade on the honor roll at Christian Heritage Academy, a small, private school. His father said that, just to be extra safe, he and the guides had high-powered rifles aimed and ready to fire in case the beast, with 5-inch tusks, decided to charge. With the animal finally dead in a creek bed on the 2,500-acre Lost Creek Plantation, a commercial hunting preserve in Delta, trees had to be cut down and a backhoe brought in to bring Jamison's prize out of the woods. It was hauled on a truck to the Clay County Farmers Exchange in Lineville, where Jeff Kinder said they used his scale, recently calibrated, to weigh the hog. Kinder's scale measures only to the nearest 10, but Mike Stone said it balanced one notch past the 1,050-pound mark. "It probably weighed 1,060 pounds. We were just afraid to change it once the story was out," he said. The hog's head is being mounted by Jerry Cunningham of Jerry's Taxidermy. Cunningham said the animal measured 54 inches around the head, 74 inches around the shoulders and 11 inches from the eyes to the end of its snout. "It's huge," he said. "It's just the biggest thing I've ever seen." Mike Stone is having sausage made from the rest of the animal. "We'll probably get 500 to 700 pounds," he said. Jamison, meanwhile, has been offered a small part in "The Legend of Hogzilla," a small-time horror flick based on the tale of the Georgia boar. The movie is holding casting calls with plans to begin filming in Georgia. Jamison is enjoying the newfound celebrity generated by the hog hunt, but he said he prefers hunting pheasants to monster pigs: "They are a little less dangerous." ___ Associated Press writer Jay Reeves in Birmingham contributed to this report.

Orangutan escapes from Taiwanese zoo

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An orangutan escaped from a Taiwanese zoo and terrified patrons at a nearby restaurant Wednesday, overturning picnic tables and motorbikes and forcing terrified diners to cower inside the eatery.The orangutan, who pushed his way out of his cage before wandering into the restaurant, was subdued when an official shot him with a tranquilizer dart. He was carted off for treatment in the scoop of a small bulldozer. Wednesday's incident occurred six weeks after a 440-pound crocodile chewed the forearm off a veterinarian at the same zoo. The vet's limb was reattached in a seven-hour surgery. Orangutans are native to the forests of Malaysia and Indonesia. They have a shaggy, reddish-brown coat, long arms and no tail.